The First Moon
by Dandelions and suspect slavery
Summary: After PoA, Sirius and Remus revisit an old memory, and try to move beyond the past. Just a fluffy, angsty drabble, with some not too subtle wolfstar subtext.


"Padfoot will you just listen for once in your god damn life!" Remus turned his back on his friend angrily.

"I am listening and I'm telling you no." Sirius reached out and turned Lupin back around.

"I'm going to have to leave for a while. Not sure where I will go. But I can be here this one time." Lupin groaned and sat on a nearby chair. Running his hands through his hair he snuck a glance at his oldest friend. Still thin and gaunt from his time in Azkaban, the loss of Wormtail weighed heavily on his heart. When you added into the mix the loss at the chance to be with Harry it seemed to Remus that it was almost too much for one man to handle, and yet here he was ready to relive the past. But it wouldn't be like the past would it? Remus thought to himself sadly. No it would never be like the past. There had always been four.

"I've been doing this by myself for twelve years. I can handle another."

"But you don't have to! That's my point Moony." Sirius grabbed his friends shoulders and forced him to look him in the eye.

"We made a promise years ago. The three of us did. Never let you suffer alone. Wormtail…" He spat out the name in frustration, "Wormtail betrayed us all. James di… Had to go, and me. Well it's my own stupid fault that I had to break that promise. Don't let me die and have to listen to James yelling at me for breaking yet another Marauder pact."

"I don't need a dog to help me anymore. I have the potion." Remus argued trying to convince his friend.

"Why are you so adamant that I don't need to be there? You can't deny it. The wolf must have missed our monthly trips." Sirius' lips turned up as he thought of all those nights at Hogwarts.

"I'm not some frightened school boy anymore Sirius. I take the potion and I sleep. Next morning I wake up, I feel sore and tired and angry and then I go about my normal day."

"When did you become so stubborn?" The two men stared each other in the eye as both searched for an answer to the next question.

"I didn't become stubborn. I became self-reliant." Came Remus' cool reply as he was the first to break eye contact. "There was no one left to help me. Everyone was gone."

"Even me," Sirius whispered sadly feeling all his mistakes getting thrown back at him again.

"Yes, even you." Lupin breathed a calming breath and took a step forward. He reached out and gave his friend a hug, much like the embrace they had shared that night in the Shack before Wormtail had escaped.

"I forgave you. But we are no longer school boys. I will be fine."

"You are lying!" Sirius broke out of the hug and held Remus at arm's length. "There is no way you are fine. How many more wounds did you get over the years before you got a hold of that potion? How many years did you wake up praying that you hadn't bitten any one that night? How many times did you curse who-know-who and me for ruining your happiness? I can tell you the answer right now! Too many. Well I'm telling you now. As your friend. I will be forever making that up to you. So let me start tonight."

Remus was taken back by Sirius' confession and felt his mind wander back to fifth year and couldn't help but think of the teenage boy who had begged for forgiveness and who he had cruelly rejected for month after month until finally he let him back, simply because he missed him. Him and the wolf. Remus would be lying if he said the moons after that Halloween night had been easy, or that he hadn't missed his friends more than he could ever think was possible. And now as he looked at the bare bones of his friend all he could see was that same 15 year old boy who had made a mistake and punished them both with it.

"Okay."

"What?" Sirius looked at him in surprise.

"Okay, you can stay tonight. Mind you I'll just be sleeping." A look of pure joy spread across the dark haired man's face. He pulled Lupin into a hug and forced himself not to jump for joy.

"That's great. I don't mind. I'll just watch. I don't mind. Just like old times. Well almost eh. Had your potion? Which room do you want to sleep in?" Sirius began to ask questions a mile a minute and Remus just look and laughed. And then he began to answer each question slowly, making sure to not miss a single detail.

And that night as the full moon rose into the sky a tame werewolf slept happily as a black dog watched patiently and happily. Eventually both fell asleep and dreamt of four animals running through a wood, playing and fighting. It saddened them for they knew they were alone but that's where they were wrong. That night a stag also watched. And he remembered also.


End file.
